Deep Breathing & Relaxation Exercise

Here is a deep breathing & relaxation exercise you might use to bring yourself to a better space - I suggest listening to this with some of your favorite quiet music playing in the background. It takes about 15minutes...

Thoughts about negative thinking & rumination to help quiet our mind

Why do our thoughts tend to get the better of us? 

Our brains default to negative thoughts. It is a part of the human condition and we are set up that way. When we are left to our own thinking, without structure or a task to do, we go negative - about ourselves, about others or even worse, about what others think about us.  

This is actually an important survival mechanism, (although more so for our prehistoric selves who needed to figure out quickly that the animal or other thing approaching had the potential to threaten us). Our modern day selves do not benefit in the same way from the instant negative bias our brain may automatically move to.

As happens to most people, sometimes I am struck by how negative and critical or self critical I can be...  I have the same default wiring as the rest of the population.  So the first step is to stop beating ourselves up for falling into the trap of negative thinking or rumination!  Remind yourself, this is how human beings are wired!

So how do we move away from the rumination, negative thinking, and our critical self monitoring? First steps involve catching or noticing ourselves doing it...

Once we begin to recognize this pattern, we can try to notice this earlier and earlier...  so that we can begin to see the triggers of rumination and self criticism.

Once you recognize you are in that negativity... we need distraction.  Mindfulness activities are a favorite as they involve us slowing down, breathing and noticing things around us. For many, the more sensory our imaging of positive things in our lives, the more successful we can be at pushing away ruminating thoughts. Mindfulness is a way to train your brain to let go of those cloying thoughts clogging up your mind. There are some ideas here, but many great options are available online and there are also apps that you might use.  Mindfulness can come in many forms:

• thinking of your favorite activity, reliving those pleasant moments
• imagining your favorite place, complete with all sensations - what you can see (and the colors, and shapes, and patterns), what you hear, what you smell, tactile sensations (the breeze or sun on your skin)...
• remembering the positive feelings you had in your day and focusing on the sensations associated with them...
• walking and noticing things along the way 

Other kinds of distractions:

• reading
• journaling
• coloring
• listening to music 
• calling a friend or family member to catch up
• playing a game
• watching your favorite sports team

One minor warning:  Many people use distraction or avoidance to never allow feelings & thoughts to arise... so the use of distraction should be on a continuum... it is helpful to use distraction when caught up in rumination and negative thinking... but if done too much, we may find we are disconnecting from our feelings.

Another way to dissolve negative rumination is to identify the negative thoughts and then to create a realistic positive thought to take its place... so that each time you catch yourself with that thought, you remind yourself to stop (some find visualizing a stop sign is helpful...) and then focusing on a positive way to reframe that negative thought.

Many people have difficulty with rumination at night and it interferes with sleep - it is important to remember that after about 9pm at night our frontal cortex is not as activated, literally shutting down our ability to problem solve.  The frontal cortex is where our executive function and logic lies - so this is not the time to try to solve important problems or dwell on situations you need to manage.  So you may need to arm yourself with a few different techniques... 

I find if I wake up and the thoughts start to swirl I can push them away with memories of my last walk on a sunny day with a blue sky and the beauty of the forest and trees around me. Or I can focus on the night sounds of nature or the rain pattering at my window to lull me to a quieter space.  Some find listening to relaxing music, deep breathing and progressive relaxation exercises, or reading for a few minutes can help you to let go of the negative thoughts.

If thoughts arise about things I need to do... I keep some paper nearby to write them down and schedule to do them the next day, rather than beating myself up (negative self) because I forgot to do it today.  Then if the thought returns, I can remind myself that I have a plan to do that.  Of course key to this is remembering to bring the reminder with you the next day!  

Share what you finds works best to take you out of those ruminating thoughts... maybe you will help us as we work to dissolve those negative thoughts! 

Spring stream meditation

A 3 minute meditation by a stream in Spring.

Ocean breeze meditation

Here is a 2 minute meditation by the ocean.